Laughter, like love, is one of God's most powerful medicines |
Wrong Number? |
I wonder if God ever gets connected to the "wrong party". You know, like the answers to prayers going to the wrong person, similar to leaving a message on the wrong answering machine. I get these all the time. For example, I'll get a message on my machine from a hurried, frantic husband saying, "Honey, pick the kids up, I have to work late", or, "Honey, I forgot to tell you my Mother is coming to stay with us for a month. You need to pick her up at the airport at 3:45!" I find these messages very disturbing since there is nothing I can do about the situations. I worry about the kids when nobody is there to get them and the irate mother-in-law stranded at the airport. The messages were left in good faith but nothing right is going to happen because the message was sent to the wrong party. Maybe God has me confused with somebody else and He is answering all my prayers, but they are going to the wrong person! Yes, I am clutching at straws, but there has to be a reason for not getting what I asked for! Imagine how blessed the receiver must feel! And, it is no doubt some heathen who doesn't even admit that God exists let alone thank Him! Meanwhile, I am wallowing in disaster waiting on the Lord. I might expect Him to lose track of me if I only contacted Him once every year or two, but I am on the line to the throne room every 30 seconds at least. Still, technology being what it is, there could be crossed wires somewhere or sunspot interference and maybe His answers are going awry. I better send Him my current information just in case. Maybe I should go stand out on the lawn and wave, shouting, "Hey, yo, I'm over here!!! Can you see me now?" Another possibility is that He is on vacation as I read recently on the net, written by another lady who was questioning the lack of answers to frantic prayers. But, where could God possibly go where He wouldn't be recognized and bugged day and night for help? It could be that He is training new messengers and has the same problem there as here: it's really hard to find good help anywhere these days. Or, maybe He has problems with His server crashing daily too. There has to be an explanation! Surely, the problem couldn't be with me lacking faith or asking for the wrong things. My prayers are all carefully worded, clear-cut requests so that He'll know exactly what I need and He won't have to spend His time on them and can get the answers sent out pronto! I am just pondering the imponderables which is how I exercise my 'great mind' and release tension regarding all the high waters of daily living. The flood waters of affliction with the bread of adversity floating thick as flotsam (or is it jetsam?) on it. As long as my lips are still above water as they are this moment, I'm doing fine! God says not to worry that a giant crocodile has a hold on my feet and is dragging me down. Just praise the Lord for all that He is allowing for His own great and miraculous purposes! I know He still does a lot of prospering of the wicked, but what about me here perishing? Has his screen blipped off and He can't see me struggling? Sure, I realize He is very busy getting probably billions of requests a day in about 10,000 different languages and dialects, but If He'd answer a few of my prayers right now, it would free up a lot of His lines. Maybe the solar blasts have blitzed his pager. But, wouldn't He have a back up? Wait a second, here comes a message from Jesus now: "My precious friend, I'm never too busy for you; before you called I answered. No, my server wasn't down, but your wall was up and you didn't hear me say, 'Wait on the Lord and He shall strengthen your heart.' The message went through fine, but your receiver was off the hook, and your e-mail was hopelessly jammed with you writing everyone about the problem. I used your voice mail, but apparently you didn't recognize my voice because it wasn't the answer you wanted to hear. "I have given you my answer in writing already, but you only saw what you wanted to see. Read my words to you in John 14:13 again and look at the last part: ' Whatsoever you shall ask in my name, that will i do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.' What you asked would not have glorified me or my Father. "You will know my answer; it's the one I will write on your heart. You will recognize it as mine because I will throw open every door to it for you. Ps: I don't need to use a pager, I am omnipresent." Jesus |
This page was last updated on: August 26, 2005
Wait a minute before you go anywhere! I promise the next one is funnier having been highly acclaimed as such by believers and non-believers alike. Most of my humor comes from the fact that I am and will always be a "new sheep in God's fold with lots to learn" having limited spiritual understanding because my brain is about the size of a sheep's which is notoriously small. Much of my misunderstanding of spiritual things stems from the fact that my earthly mind is constantly trying to run the show, but the Holy Spirit, bless His heart, always manages eventually to get everything sorted out. In the process, my Erma Bombeck-like writing provides levity for others who are much wiser than I in the loftier realms, but occasionally serves to teach them some spiritual truths too. I am never irreverent; there is always a Christian moral to my mental meanderings. I just have the kind of mind that spins endlessly like a dryer full of clothes until it eventually gets things sorted out and voila! a perfect truth appears like a wash 'n' wear shirt all fresh and new - further evidence that the Holy Spirit and I are making progress! |
Click the arrow below to read: "I Am Restoring Unto Thee a Sense of Humor or "Thanks for Waiting; It May Be A While" |
It is guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and convict your heart! |
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